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1. Kelterre at SiamGus: Sentinels win
Posted by Dev at 2005/11/22 12:22:24 PST
Edited at 2005/12/12 17:41:13 PST

Kelterre (even) chooses 59854364. SiamGus (odd) chooses 2. 59854366 (even) goes to Kelterre. Accounts follow within.

SiamGus' account

Due to the ice conflicts with Kelterre, SiamGus has had a change in team leadership. Sgt. Slaughter will been replaced by Major Glory as coach at the next team practice due to his receiving a lifetime ban from the hockey league. Retraining will begin tomorrow.

In related news, SiamGus' hockey team scored only 2 points in the first 17 seconds of the game vs the 59854364 Kelterre goals due to all but one of the SiamGus Guerrillas having to either stay in the penalty box or having been ejected from the game due to excessive roughness in the first minute of play. The referrees barred the SiamGus goalie when they realized he was using a modified shotgun as his stick. Two of the forwards were ejected due to trying to use live grenades as pucks. Both the defensemen were caught using illegal stick-fighting methods to down Kelterre forwards, once resulting in breaking the arm of their lead-off center.
Thus leaving the SiamGus Guerrillas with one team forward to staive off the ensuing onslaught of goals from the more experienced Sentinels who skated rings around the sole remaining Guerrilla.

Quoted the ex-coach Sgt. Slaughter as he stood sharpening a K-bar knife, "We'll get them next round... the whiny little bastards. We are not afraid!"

In further news, no riots broke out on SiamGus streets as the news of their favorite (and only) hockey team was downed in its first ever game. Most people just ignored it and went about their business. When questioned, over 98% replied with, "Huh? What's hockey?"

This is Throg Stromboli, reporting live from Fort Payne's Ice Bowl Arena, saying, "Long live our Grand High Poobah!"
_____________________________________________
Minister of Sports and Other Things That Go "Boom!"
Throg Stromboli, Diocesan of SiamGus

Kelterre's account

It was a peculiar night on the ice for the Sentinels, having never faced an opponent quite like the Guerillas before. Kelterre, being a newcomer to the ACHL, was completely taken aback by the extremely dynamic playing of the SiamGus team, allowing the opposition to score a couple of goals rather quickly. The clincher came after the sudden hospitalization of the team's center, Elle Naisha, an event that appeared to shock the Kelterre team out of their greenhorn's anxiety and into complete and utter fury.

Naisha's injury was the source of another revelation, but this one was for the Guerillas and the rest of SiamGus's onlooking fans: the entire Sentinels team is composed of females. When queried about this, Alleya Serafina, one of the two coaches for the Sentinels team, simply laughed. "Well, yeah, they’re all girls. They may not be as brutally forceful as ... other teams in the league are, but they make up for it by having superior teamwork and speed."

The Sentinels, true to their name, allowed no more injuries or goals to get to them after Naisha's removal, a fact that was aided by the continual dismissal of SiamGus players from the ice. The final score of the match was Kelterre 64, SiamGus 2.

Serafina adds that now that they’re more familiar with the tactics used by, apparently, several of the ACHL's teams, in the future, the Sentinels will be more prepared to face them in upcoming matches.

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